Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in ennairolf's LiveJournal:

Thursday, October 25th, 2007
3:13 pm	1 nite stand I was so flabbergasted with how close friend of mine reacted when I told him I found Drar. He sheepishly reverted “go and have a one night stand with him?” and posed he was liberated. He said sex is a flesh of trade, its nothing but to let out the sexual tension between the two of you. In short no strings attached. Thinking this way was such a pity! Then what makes you apart from an animal that see it as mating of bodies not meeting of souls.  Maybe I was a hybrid of conservative and liberated type of women; I will not go for this thing. Creep! It reduced my excitement communicating with Drar again . . Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: Hafiz ringtone
1:02 pm	hey its Drar! i saw somebody in the friendster, err I searched for somebody I mean....finally i found him. its been quite sometime I was wondering where is Drar now. So he is in Austria. he immediately reverted and said he was damn happy to keep in touch, feels like seventeen again, hahaha.... also married (put indicated in a relationship in his friendster account) and can speak German, impressive. it made my heart beat faster, whew! Current Mood: flirty Current Music: awake - josh groban
Monday, October 22nd, 2007
11:32 am	Again I am back! For good, I need this journal more than ever. A lot of things are into my mind, I should learn to organize my thoughts and learn to concentrate 100%. Damn! I just violated it again. See I am writing a journal in the midst of daily office routine. Well, my boss is not around and this is not a peak season of my monthly dirty work so give me a break. Proceed without interruption. I can write as I want before lunch break (my stomach looking forward for a hot yi mien fish soup). So I am working again as a Consolidator, for this SMEs MNC. Wah lau! (their usual local expression). This was the break I have been praying for, an overseas assignment. After the rush turned over I did for URC, I flew here. I carried a sack of prayers and handful of guts. I know I can make it here – for my family; I must make it here – with all the actions I took. I worked in a multi-cultural environment. You can see from our big bosses: CEO an American, CFO an Ausie, Legal Director an Indian, HR Director a Malay. Whew! Let me see my inner circle : Controller a Singaporean, my counterparts a Chinese Malay and Thai. You see, it’s very common for me to eat in a small group where none of us have the same nationality. And I am the only Noypi in the company. Who cares! So long as I am receiving my whole remuneration month end, I said before without batting an eyelash (that was before, now it matters to me, believe me). But we have PH office counterpart and I used to get along with the Finance Manager very well, so I get to speak my mother tongue in a work related purpose. Yahoo! Nakakaturete rin na magsalita ka lagi ng ingles no. Oooppps I thought I have to proceed without interruption, well my boss just arrived. Gtg. Current Mood: nerdy Current Music: Frankie (Do you remember me?)
Monday, September 25th, 2006
3:51 pm	i can dAnCe! I remember my childhood, a jolly and an epitome of the saying there's no harm in trying (in col. term trying hard). Dancing is my first love.... I was in kinder when i intentionally stood up so my teacher would recognize me, she was choosing then the dance participants....so that how I was handpicked for the Pastores dance. Seing my ability, she then let me play the main role as PussyCat in the "Owl and the PussyCAt". In my third grade, I enrolled in a dance class even when my body was not inclined in dancing streaks....I decided to enter ballet class, as a beginner I aimed to prove my worth in it having some of my classmates in their advanced lessons. I was luckily chosen (this time, I didn't stand up intentionally) to play the one of the fairies in the Sleeping Beauty presentation (we were four then, I was the only one who came from the beginners) but I later backed out because my Mom couldn't afford the fairytale amount of the costume.....but it was okay with me. I learned my ballet lessons, that's the most important one. I changed my instructor, still with the ballet group but she taught us some hawaiian and tahitian stints and it was fun! Later, I indulged in modern dances, Debbie Gibson "Electric Youth" was in. In my highschool years, I then learned those folklore steps (step-brush-hop-slide) from simple steps of Cariñosa to the festy Tinikling. In fact, in one school program we presented four numbers and I could see in the audience eyes' "kayo na naman?" OA na super but our Dance Instructor could not find a time to teach another group so we were forced to learn these steps quickly... I dance ballet still, when I joined the school contest that was my masterpiece. I participated in a Literary-Musical Contest twice (Looking Through the Eyes of Love with Joaquin and Open Arms with Gerry), and only in my second time that I grabbed the crown...a product of hardword and creativity. I treasured such winning...to think I was in my college years then. How I wish I can still dance...I got no time. But Im going to teach my kids how to.... Current Mood: artistic Current Music: humming....
Thursday, September 21st, 2006
4:40 pm	missed my journal Missed some entries....to busy these days.... i got some new offers but i declined, not because the offer was not good, i just can't decide where to go so its better to stay. in other words, don't decide when you are confused the same with don't eat when you are angry or else indigestion will follow you. Current Mood: rushed
Friday, September 8th, 2006
6:20 pm	greener pasture..... if I worked on my plans, i should have been preparing to leave, and saying NJ here I come...but I didn't. things are not just for me, it was a product of tedious soul searching. i know i can't endure such distance and duration.... if only i knew i won't pursue, i should have been sarcastic to the consul, sayang. but i think the right one is coming, out of nowhere here comes Ghia. Thanks.
3:58 pm	purity Today is Mama Mary's birthday! In honor of the mother of our Savior, this day is for her. The priest preached that her gift to us is her purity, and in return asked us what's our gift to her.... let me ponder...Mama Mary always shared me his blue mantle when I sleep at night and I hope that the gift of contentment will be given to her even just for this day....no ifs, no buts, just be with her. I love you Mama Mary.
Wednesday, September 6th, 2006
9:02 am	job offers I am elated having job offers and Im not yet regular in my current jobs, nah. The headhunter asked me what reason would I have to leave my job as early as this, I quickly quipped "good benefits". But I know Im not that serious. Im not ready to leave this office amidst the "not-so-good benefits". This is the only job who gave me damn exposure, though they are aware I came from the primitive society of "tagatuos". I know I may have other oppurtunities, maybe a year after... Current Mood: grateful Current Music: masilungan - sandwich
Tuesday, September 5th, 2006
5:46 pm	"my dear diary days" i was in my third year when my Mom bought me this smaller than regular notebook thing, little I know that that thing would be my bestfriend for years...but I threw it away, I threw it together with some memories. I really like writing, but Im bold enough to confess that Im not good in it. but nevertheless, that flaw should not hinder my sentiments to flow, (see, carry naman e) i remember my entries then, i have symbols how many times I was able to see my crush, if he stared me back and greeted me (*#@) without legend of course. those were the days.....so young, so vibrant... Current Mood: giggly Current Music: my hump
11:24 am	snobbed and sobbed I oftentimes wonder why I should talking to someone whom talking to me is the last thing on his mind.... Isn't it devastating? But I feel happy at least Im the only one affected by how I feels. He was so insensitive, but thats the least he could do.... o women.
Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006
2:44 pm	tutti fruiti I took this test what fruit would I be... Strawberries & Grape You scored 33 bittersweet, 62 shade tolerance, 49 nutrients needs, and 41 prickly factor! Sweet, charming and hardy, nothing annoys you, and nothing about you annoys other fruit. You like the sun ALL the time, but don't need a lot of nurturing to get through the day. My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 75% on bittersweet You scored higher than 39% on shade tolerance You scored higher than 85% on nutrients needs You scored higher than 88% on prickly factor Link: The What Kind of Fruit Are You Test written by smileyes37 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test So in short Im COOL. my existence does not affect anyone, does it mean that no one misses my absense, ugh!
Thursday, August 17th, 2006
5:48 pm	bridging the barrier I was able to talk to my superior. Isn't it great to tell him "Hey Boss you can tell me my weakness with my arms open rather than talk to somebody else who doesn't have an idea of whats goin on". He is sometimes understanding, being in the acadame for 12 years made him more sensible when it comes to handling emotionally troubled staff except he can't contain things by himself....hay he needs to share them unsolicitedly. I just have to accept its part of his personality. Fortunately, I was able to point across my thoughts. Its difficult but believe me coz I did. I told him I was really having a hard time adjusting and my standards set were also high that I myself was disappointed of my performance. He then started the litany, (but its alright having realized them a day ahead)...I appreciated when it comes to leadership style. I admit I am lenient when it comes to my staff, I know they are performing well and if not just give them some leeway. I can't see myself screaming at the of top of my lungs, hello as if the staff could use a magic wand in a snap. What I lack is consultation with them (that what I did this afternoon....okay lay all your cards and lets play, hehehe). I was also careless (nyaiiiks....its haunting me, burara in short). Also, Im not a good teacher...I was not able to impart important things to my staff so that relevance of their tasks is at hand (next time po...). he reminded me of managerial answer..."okay Boss I'll check". He then also admitted he has his own faults and lapses, he let me dive without appropriate gear (I am not the good swimmer, diver pa kaya?). He was then busy, with so many BUs and BIR things, its understandable. Also, Im holding many companies including consolidation (SO Im not Wonder Woman, sayang), who would expect that a newcomer can do it with flying colors....with flying minds I suppose. But to sum it all...its a good talk. one of a kind talk that I need at this vulnerable moment of my life. In life you need a handful of courage to make help at hand...initiate to bridge the barrier and be true. Current Mood: determined Current Music: lady marmalade....
8:54 am	my humility I wasnt able to sleep well. The night seemed so long that I have to wake up each night. I didn't perform well, at least at par with their epxectations and I am humbly accepting it. My best was not good enough, it failed even in my own self assessment. But thats when healing starts, acceptance and perseverance to make things happen. Im not going to give up that easy. I have to work hard, endure and finally reap my tedious struggles....you need to dream for inner motivation. Here is an excerpt of my SMS to JCA " Boss, Im sori I didn't perform well....hindi sa nagiging emotional but alam ko na madami akong pagkukulang...." At least I laid down my cards again. I am disappointed with my performance knowing this is my second 17Q.
Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
2:37 pm	Im done the Second time around Yesterday was the 45th day after the quarter ending month, does it sound a bell? Yes of course. Hundred of hours until the last minute before this day ends will be my vulnerabe moments so long as Im in the consolidation group of this PLC. Sounds vague....My apology, its some sort of hang over in my head whispering let there be no clarity in whatever you do, hehehe. So its my second quarter after March (of course, is clarity missing or my sanity?) and to rate myself, I was poorly performing. I know the purpose of my job but still I can't accomplish it appropriately (?) ang daming kulang from my point of view ( no need to ask my superiors, I know they will certainly agree....) Parang ang tanga-tanga ko (ang tanga-tanga mo nga, parang nag-echo).... hay wawa naman ako. Anyway, still agree to put things in record. I was an accomplice to let this not so good figures be turned into wonderful ones, as if everyhting was turning into what was planned, nyek... In short, I became an assistant of a magician (at ang akala ko tapos na starcity last week, may nadala pa pala kaming trick, privately and confidentially done, hehehe) So ganun pala yun, in short analyst should really be angalyst kasi some of them knows, naku nambobola lang presentation na yan. well crafted masterpiece, in fact. And this is my second time around. (got a caller there and guess who? a senior auditor from SGV, naks naman di pa nga ako nakakarecover sa SEC eh year end audit na pala. Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: wala
Friday, July 21st, 2006
8:36 am	The Perfect Cone I have existed for three decades and have seen this perfect cone almost everyday of my first years of existence. The Daragang Magayon as the legend was told us is a lovely sight as it can be, so calm and yet so elegant for its upright perfect standing. But I have seen it so restless affecting the daily routines of so many people. I was about nine years old then when I first saw its eruption. My mother took me to a medical mission,giving used clothings and medicines to evacuees. These people went out of their places because of the ravishing lava and the literal rolling stones as huge as their shelter. Some of them carried their household paraphernalia and to some even their livestocks from pig to carabaos and cows. These animals are helping them till the soil and thus their treasures. I saw their struggle at my early age and I pitied them. I started to believe that nature has its beauty and madness. Another incident hit me when in my last year in highschool, I saw six-by-six trucks carried dozens of farmers killed by pyroclastic materials. The eruption was unexpected and there was no warning, these people were inside the permanent danger zone and they have nowhere to run. And yet other people find call it tourist attraction, they haven't seen the eye sore of evacuation sites. They say it generates income to the local government but it lost the daily sustenance of small families, making them parasites and fully dependent to government aid. I just pray that Mayon not be as violent as it was before, and if its imminent, then save the lives of people nearby. Amen. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: jagged little pill - alanis
Friday, June 23rd, 2006
2:01 pm	few bad habits im wearing a casual things and yet my mind is boggling.....after so many thoughts unravelling, what on earth am Idoing in this Co? thats typical me, rather my few bad habits. I easily get tire and spend the remaining energy complaning, gee, kept telling myself to grow u....grow more (vertical or horizontal, lately its horizontal..... no sound beach diet? no budget for that Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: feel like dancing
Thursday, May 11th, 2006
10:34 am	work to live not live to work Finally, Im almost done with the SEC package. I am proud that I was able to survive this learning stage of my life, i know got a lot of things to learn out there.... Though happy but disappointed, I know I didn't live up to their expectations or they are just too nasty to give side comments, but really they can't give proper credits. Now I know why other Accounting Managers keep out of this conso thing. Its not because its too difficult to comprehend but rather difficult to please these PEOPLE. Im happy I got this journal thing to share with my husband and my kids how sometime in my life I find it so difficult to work. I can't tell them right now but they will know some of my struggles. That Im working for my family so hard for just to survive, ang hirap talaga kumita ng pera. How I wish people are working to live, not living to work. That they see that working is just a component of living, there are still so many things to squander upon like BEING NICE TO OTHER PEOPLE, thats my bottom line here. You can teach other people without those unsolicited remarks as if you were born already all knowing of IFRS, PAS blah blah. I think Im ready to share this, many other people can relate. I make mistakes of course but I stand by it, and take full responsibility. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: none
Saturday, April 22nd, 2006
4:06 pm	Julia Philline Julia Philline or PIEN is my second daughter. She got my curly curly hair that fits perfectly her angelic and sweet face, mind you, her moves are usually led to a mistake of her being a boy. But my little baby is every inch a girl....i can always see her curiousity of brushing her hair and combing another's hair, facing the mirror and pose for a bit projection. She was born 27th day of June 2003. A day after my parents-in-law wedding anniversary. she weighed about 7.2 lbs (3.3 kgs) and she is really an active infant. I remember how the OB-GYN instructed me to warm up my contractions and all of a sudden a gush of intensity leading the doctor and her assistant unexpectedly rushing to assist her out. Isn't it funny. Jeof was not on my side. He is about to withdraw an amount for the deposit. Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: none- gush of the aircon